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First, I should tell you that in my own house, I have a golf trophy shaped like an alligator, a wardrobe featuring shirts with logos from golf courses on them, several photos and paintings of golf holes, a scorecard signed by Arnold Palmer, about 300 golf books, most of which are trash, an autographed baseball, a bat, two neckties with sports designs on them, several caps with logos on them and a Super Bowl telephone I bought in Minneapolis in 2002. I would also like to have a small, tacky, purple neon sign to hang on the wall beside my desk because I like neon and purple. And sometimes tacky. So if you're a stock car fan and you want to buy what is advertised as "yard art," which is a "die cut car design of your favorite driver" and "comes with painted stakes and screws" - in other words, a replica of a race car to put in your yard - I understand. I say go for it.
I personally would not buy one of those, nor would I want to live within several miles of anyone who owned one, but to each of his own. The stock car racers are in town for the UAW-GM 500 at Charlotte Motor Speedway today. They are merchants of speed and they are merchants of merchandise. You hear about all the merchandising stock car people are doing nowadays and you figure its shirts, caps, bumper stickers, decals, that kind of thing.
That aren't even scratching the surface of what has become a multimillion dollar industry. In trailer RVs parked outside the speedway or from catalogs, you can buy (and these all carry driver or product signatures and-or logos) teddy bears, shoelaces, infant sleep wear and bibs and bottles, Monopoly games, computer materials including mice painted like race cars, jewelry, pens, Christmas ornaments, hair scrunches and bows.
You could decorate a house with stock car-logoed items - cups, steins, glasses, ashtrays, humidors, ceiling fans, lamps, comforters, pillows, shams, sheets, blankets, afghans, rugs, light switch wall plates, night lights, lighting fixtures, cookie molds, throw pillows, televisions, radios.
And, of course, yard art. Also paintings, photos and pieces of sheet metal. Sheet metal is big. I have here a press release from Cotter Promotions that begins, "Tickle Me Elmo, and move over".
"The hot selling item this season is going to be sheet metal - from Bill Elliott quarter panels to Mark Martin rear deck lids" and contained in the press release is a quote that says, "These eye-catching pieces look absolutely dynamite in a den or garage."
So, sheet metal is big. Somebody is missing out on toilet seats, though, I'll tell you that. There's lots of guy stuff. Trailer RV hitch covers, fishing gear, a clock set in a piston rod, belt buckles the size of a pie pan, pocket knives, pool cues, baseball bats, dart boards and mirrors set inside "actual used Goodyear tires" and rifles, pistols and shotguns featuring tributes to various drivers. The shirts make good reading on the way into the track or during a caution period. There are messages on them like, "No Unnecessary Parts, Just a Ton of Metal and Nerves of Steel." Or "Around here, action still speaks louder than words." Or "Burn rubber, not bras." Or "Stay on the porch, the Big Dawg's back." Or "We bust ours so we can kick yours."
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